We think... • May 2016
The perfect hotel doesn’t exist
There may be no such thing as a perfect hotel, or so travel writer Amanda Morison believes, but that hasn’t stopped her quest to find one
When you visit hotels for a living, parties can make you feel like a doctor. All those questions about where to stay, your favourite hotel, and – much more terrifying – “What’s the best hotel in the world?”.
My diagnosis is that there isn’t one. My version of the perfect idyll is, after all, unlikely to be yours.
“The colourful riad in Marrakech you adored when young and in love might look rickety 15 years later with two toddlers in tow”
Saying that, I once stayed at the perfect hotel. The dream hideaway was a tiny island in the Maldives. There were only six villas, each with a dhow kitted out with sushi chef and sailing crew. Paradise. Until, that is, I chatted with the Thai spa staff back on dry land who admitted to feeling so bored and lonely they cried themselves to sleep every night.
In 1967, literary critic Roland Barthes’s influential essay The Death of the Author caused a sensation. He posited the theory that every reading of a book would produce a different outcome, with life experiences, mood and prejudices all contributing.
It’s the same with hotels. The colourful riad in Marrakech you adored when young and in love might look rickety 15 years later when you have two toddlers in tow. And if you’re a jet-lagged business traveller with only six hours to get your head down before a meeting, a suite with a view of the Taj Mahal won’t match the allure of a dark box with a properly comfortable bed.
There’s no place for disappointment in a hotel room
Perhaps the rise of Airbnb reflects our desire to find perfection. Far from being solely about a cheap bed for the night – penthouses, private islands and stately homes are on the books – Airbnb offers a chance to escape your norm. One day you might be feeling in a houseboat-in-Amsterdam kind of mood, the next yearning for a home-cooked fry-up in a thatched country cottage.
Fortunately, hotels tend to be ahead of the game when it comes to the novelty most people crave. Would any of us have en-suites with hot and cold running water if London’s Savoy hadn’t led the way? And who could have predicted that perfection for some would be a glamorous return to youth hostels?
So I won’t stop looking for perfection, but if I find it, I won’t let on. It’s not selfishness but realism: if my perfect hotel existed you’d probably find it disappointing. Too noisy, too quiet or simply “I couldn’t forgive the terrible bacon at breakfast”. So, prestigious Swiss hotel schools, don’t give up the good work, because it’s fun for all of us to keep trying.
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